Last time.
Thursday, Nov. 24, 2005 at 12:49 a.m.
I suppose it's time I accept the fact that even though Chris and I never offically broke up we are no longer together. It's heartbreaking. But the funny part is... It doesnt bother me like maybe it should. It doesnt hurt like it did the first time. It doesnt hurt like it has in the past. Maybe Im just getting use to this heartbreak. To being used and lied to. Or maybe Im just not as weak as I once was.
I could easily never talk to him again and I would be fine with that. Except it kind of bothers me that we never officially broke up. That he doesnt have the balls and I dont want to admit it. I hate having loose ends. To not ending something that was started.
I know the right thing to do is somehow get ahold of him and tell him it's over (even though it obviously is). But im not so sure he deserves that. He cant have the decency to break up with me so why should I bother with him?
I can see why he is divorced. He doesnt know how to be a man and he doesnt deserve me. Im so fucking tired of being treated this way. I refuse to allow myself to be subjected to this kind of bullshit again. From any guy.
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