awaiting your call
Thursday, Nov. 10, 2005 at 12:22 a.m.
I tried talking to Chris tonight. God knows I tried. I finally found the strenght to say something to me and all he could do it laugh. "Your pushing me away again." And he laughs. He shakes his head and says, "woman".
Honestly, I was shocked. That is not what I expected him to say. He said he hasnt been ignoring me he's just tired. He wouldnt be so tired if he didnt stay out all night drinking all the time and doing God knows what else.
What more could I have said? What was the proper response to something like that. I doubt he could see the tears in my eyes as I stood up. I told him I was going home. "Your going home?" was all he said to me. No goodbyes, no hey waits and no im sorrys.
I figure when he is ready to stop being an asshole and talk to me he will call. And if he never does? Well, then I know that he is just like every other guy I have ever been with and he isnt worth my fucking time.
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