How much longer?
Friday, Jul. 29, 2005 at 9:33 p.m.
These last two months have been the worst of my life. Just when I think it couldnt possibly get any worse, it does. I feel like I have nothing keeping me in this world.
I thought having a baby might make me straighten up; grow up. To make me realize all the things Ive been refusing to see. But I lost it. So now what?
My family isnt making it any easier. I know they are happy I had a miscarriage. And that rips my fucking heart out. How fucking heartless and selfish. It makes me bitter towards them; towards everyone. And I cant keep the "happy and content" act up any longer. I cant pretend im this happy go lucky girl. Because I am not. Ive never been.
Lets face it.
I hate this place. This world. This life.
I hate the people in it.
I dont belong here. I wasnt created for this world. Or maybe the world wasnt created for me. Either way doesnt matter.
The point it im dying here. Its only a matter of time before im gone completely.
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