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Friday, Jul. 22, 2005 at 11:05 a.m.
I went to the doctors yesterday. After the big long spiel about hospitals, bills and all that shit they decided maybe they should give me a pregancy test since I had been bleeding for a week. It came back really faint which they said isnt good. The doctor gave me a pelvic exam and said my uterus was extremely small.
So to make a long story short I more than likely had a miscarriage. I dont find out for sure until today.
Even though I know that I am not ready to have a baby and the situation wasnt ideal I am still upset about it. Depressed even.
The only thing I could think to do to make myself feel better was to cut myself. I was going to last night but Justine called me and interrputed. So I didnt do it. Which is for the better I guess.
Everything happens for a reason and I guess there is a reason for this too. I just dont know what it is. Its probably better this way anyway.
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