Someday far away I will be everything Ive always dreamt
Tuesday, Dec. 14, 2004 at 2:06 p.m.
Looking back a year ago today, things are still pretty much the same. How I feel on the inside anyway. Of course lately Ive been feeling numb and I cant decide if that is better or worse than constant unexplainable pain. But the numbness is unexplainable too. Nothing in my life ever has an explanation and that is really starting to get to me.... I just want to know why. I just want a few answers.
I dont really know how to say this but I think I will always and forever hurt inside. I will always be able to see the bad in everything and be scared to do anything, I will always be self conscious and hate myself, I will always find beauty in the depressed and I will always be crazy. It's just a matter of when I will have to finally get some kind of drugs.
I dont know. I just wish that I could really honestly be happy. But I probably wouldnt be happy with that either. **I HATE THE WAY I THINK**I WANT OUT OF MY OWN HEAD**
P.S. I am extremely pissed off that they gave scott peterson the death penalty. I by no means agree with it.
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