Rule one: Never write anything down.
Wednesday, Dec. 01, 2004 at 10:15 a.m.
He makes my heart skip a million beats and my breathing becomes labored. I imagine being embraced in his arms and feeling his warm breath on my neck. Just thinking of him makes my stomach flutter and I want nothing more than to be in his presence.
Im excited and scared at the same time. So extremely excited to kinda-sorta have someone in my life again. To think that I may kinda-sorta, you never know. But so extremely scared. I dont know how to have a real relationship. All Ive ever been was a slut. Ive never been with a real man before. A real man who isnt all about just fucking, drinking and smoking pot. Brian doesnt even drink. (Holy shit....this guy doesnt drink???) So what will he think of me when he learns who I really am?
What will he think when he see's the hideous scars scrolled upon my thighs? Will he understand that they are only memories and lifelines? My heros so to speak? How will he react when he learns how screwed up of a person I really am?
I dont want him to run away screaming. Instead I want him to hold me and tell me he'll make everything okay. That i'll never have to worry about being alone or unloved again.
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