Eyes are heavy.
Friday, Jul. 02, 2004 at 3:08 a.m.
Im tired but I dont want to sleep. I am mentally exhausted. The urge to cry is greatly increasing by the moment but I dont want to give in. I wish I could explain to myself what is wrong but I can't. I have no fucking clue what is wrong with me.
It just seems to hit me suddenly. I had a great day today. Nothing bothered me at all. Nothing until just now, whatever it is just hit me; Took my by complete surprize. The weight of the world suddenly fell upon my shoulders. And im not strong enough to hold it up.
I feel the need to go away for awhile where I can be in solitude. Away from my constant worries, stress, insecuries, friends, family, thoughts and mostly myself. Somewhere where no one knows me and I can be as crazy and depressed as I want. A place that I dont have to pretend to be happy.
It seems like everytime I start to slowly build everything back up again it crashes back down even faster. I can no longer try and keep up.
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