I want to see red
Thursday, Jul. 01, 2004 at 2:36 a.m.
Talked to Ryan tonight. He informed me that he probably wont be coming back to Ohio because there is just nothing here for him. "What about me?" I just dont know yet. Give me time. He says. Fuck time. I want to know now. Im freaking out right now for reasons I'd rather not disclose at the moment, my life constantly has me on the edge of my seat and frankly, Im scared shitless. I sure as hell dont need this.....not knowing if I ever have a chance. I have to move on or know if I can put my trust in him.
****I think I'll cut tonight. Not because anything is really wrong but because I want to.
It's addiction at it's finest.
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