a hearts forever changing
Tuesday, May. 18, 2004 at 11:04 p.m.
I apologize for all the spelling errors in the last entry. I was just too fucked up to fix it.
Justine and I talked today. She said she isnt mad at me, she's just mad at everyone. But she wont say what is wrong. All I managed to get out of her was that she isnt happy. I wish there was something I could do but it's kind of hard to do so when I dont even know whats wrong. I hurt for her.
She didnt say anything about my hanging out with John last night. I sure as hell wasnt going to bring it up. Maybe that makes me a bad person; a bad friend.
Then we drove around like nothing was wrong. The windows down with smoke rolling out and rain pouring in. The music up loud and laughing at god knows what. But I kept in the back of my mind that things arent as they appear. She not happy, im not happy and there are things we dont like about each other but we dont talk about it with each other.
But she is all I have and im pretty sure Im all she has. So where does that leave us? I guess there are things we both need to learn to deal with and realize they arent going to change. Despite everything, I am willing to do that. But I can only speak for myself.
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