Love gets you nowhere
Thursday, Feb. 26, 2004 at 11:32 p.m.
I miss being young. When nothing mattered and life wasnt so complicated. When having friends meant being a friend; a true friend. Back when Justine and I were inseperatable. Like sisters. We had big plans for our future.
I miss when we were the same except not exactly. How we never made each other cry. And there was always a shoulder if we needed it. I miss when friends forever meant just that. I miss how we told each other everything.
Somehow everything changed. The world corrupted us. Made us bad people. Learned that walking all over people was the only way to succeed; to get anywhere.
Somehow all her love for the world turned into hatred. She became so vindictive. To everyone. Even me. But what did I do? I ask all the questions but she never has any of the answers. I wish I knew what happened.
Every sad song in the world seems to be on the radio tonight. Making nothing better. I just want to be like we use to be. Could you find it in your heart to love me again? Just like you use too?
I just read all my old yearbooks. Everything she wrote made me cry even more. "Thanks for always being there." "Im always here for you." Blah blah blah. If all thats really true, then why do you continue to hurt me so much? All I ever did was love you. Or so I thought. So why do you have to treat me this way?
So just remember that. Remember I was the one who always stood by your side. Even way back when people judged you for what you looked like. I didnt. But I cant continue to do that if this is the way its going to be.
Me looking like an ass, lying to protect what people think of you, or so they wont get mad at you. So on and so forth. My grandpa says when you say shit I squat. I guess there is more truth in that than I want to believe.
so here I am alone, mascara running down my face without my best friend to talk to. To help me with my problems. To protect me from myself. Because all I ever did was love you.
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