Bet you might not have known
Sunday, Nov. 30, 2003 at 11:41 p.m.

Russians. What more needs to be said? I fucking love Russians..... I bet you cant have just one!

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[in the morning i am]: Pissed off I am up that early.

[love is]: Painful and confusing.

[i dream about]: Happiness and all the things I will never be.

-W I T H .T H E. O P P O S I T E. S E X-

[what do you notice first?]: Looks, eyes, accent.

[last person u slow danced with]:My Dad?

-W H O-

[do you have a crush on?]: A Russian boy named Paul.

[easiest to talk to]: Justine

-H A V E .Y O U .E V E R-

[fallen for your best friend]: No.

-W H O .W A S .T H E .L A S T. P E R S O N-

[you talked to on the phone]: Justine

[hugged]: Paul.

[you instant messaged]: ???- Who the fuck knows.

[you laughed with]: Justine

-D O .Y O U / / A R E .Y O U-

[could you live without the computer?]: IIm going to have to. I cant afford tthis bill

[what's your favorite food?]: Chinese

[whats ur favorite fruit?]: Grapes or kiwi

[what hurts the most? physical pain or emotional pain?]: emotion. Physical pain goes away in the end. Emotional never does.

[trust others way too easily?]: No. I have major trust issues.

-N U M B E R-

[of times i have had my heart broken? ]: I was born with a broken heart.

[of hearts i have broken?]: No one would love me enough to allow that.

[of boys i have kissed?]: 5 or 6

[of girls i have kissed?] : 0

[of drugs taken illegally?] :around 4

[of tight friends?] : 2

[of cd's that i own?] : not enough

[of scars on my body?] : too fucking many

[of things in my past that i regret?] : I try to regret nothing.

-O.T.H.E.R.T.H.I.N.G.S.-

[i know]: I know that music can set your emotions. and I know that sex is overrated. Some people will never be faithful. And if something is suppose to be it will find a way.

[i want]: to be happy. To have a car. A russian. To not disappoint anyone anymore. To have passed my national registry. And to be a fucking writer.

[i have]: A broken heart. A boyfriend I have only been going out with for about a week and already cheated on. The right to be happy.

[i wish]: Paul would call me. I could write better than I do. This feeling to cry would go the fuck away.

[i hate]: Myself. Plain and simple.

[i miss]: Being a little kid when shit didnt matter

[i fear]: Life.

[i hear]: Guns N Roses

[i search]: for myself

[i love]: Justine.

[i ache]: in my heart

[i care]: too much

[i always]: put others over myself

[i dance]: No I dont.

[i cry]: on a regular basis.

[i do not always]: think before I do shit.

[i write]: What I feel.

[i confuse]: too easily.

[i can usually be found]: with a pissed off/sad look on my face.

[i need]: More than anyone can give me.

[have you ever played a game that required removal of clothing]: yes.

[if so, when and with who]: I dont fucking know asshole.

[favorite place to be kissed?]: my mouth.

[have you ever been caught "doing something"]: nah I dont think

[wuss]: Succa

[druggie]: not too much anymore.

[gang member]: fuck off.

[daydreamer]: yes

[alcoholic]: It runs in the family

[freak]: that is what they say

[brat]: nah

[sarcastic]: asshole.

[goody-goody]: Sxe is not me.

[angel]: never

[devil]: its not as bad as you make it out to be

[friend]: I think I am a good one.

[shy]: Yes

[talkative]: when Im comfortable around you.

[adventurous]: sometimes

[intelligent]: i think so

-Concerning.The.Friends.(You.Claim.To.Have)- like 1 true friend

[impacted you the most spiritually]: Justine

[wish you saw more often]: Kt

[wish you could meet]: Matt skiba

[most sarcastic]: myself

[wish you knew better]: myself

[knows you best]: justine

[best outlook on life]: none of us

[most paranoid]: myself

[sweetest]: eh.......

-Self-Analysis.You.Probably.Don't.Want.To.Do- I dont understand what this means.

[your best feature (personality)]: my open mind

[your biggest flaw (personality)]: i sometimes think some ppl are inferior to me.

[most annoying thing you do]: breath?

[biggest mistake you've made this far]: All the times Ive hurt Justine or made her mad.

[describe your personality in one word]: unique

[the physical feature for which you are most often complimented]: my eyes

[person you regret sleeping with]: Ken. Hands down. I like to say he doest count.

[height]: im too fucking short.

[a smell that makes you smile]: mens cologne

[a country you'd like to visit]: Russia

[a drink you order most often]: cherry coke

[a delicious dessert]: chocolate mousse

[a book you highly recommend]: Lovely Bones

[the music you prefer while alone]: Old No Doubt

[your favorite band]: Alk 3. Some Russian shit. No idea what the hell it is.

[a film you could watch over and over]: The hours

[a TV show you watch regularly]: None

[you live in a(n)]: duplex

[your transportation]: friends

[your cologne or perfume]: adidas. Tranquil moments, sunflower shit.

[under your bed or in your closet you hide]: alcohol, cigerettes, journals and shit I write.

[something important on your night table]: My journal



I will never give up
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