Let me be
Friday, Sept. 05, 2003 at 11:47 p.m.
It is over my head. Beyond me. How anyone can love me. May that be a friend, family or guy. I just dont see myself as lovable. And in truth I dont want anyone to love me. I dont want that responsibility. I dont need it. Maybe I just cant handle it. Feel as though I dont deserve it.
And it is weird how I feel as though I never want to see or talk to him again. Its like fuck em' and leave. (Maybe that is one of the only things I learned from my mom.) But I know I cant do that; I know later down the road I will need to be held tightly in his arms late at night.
Right now at this instance I need to left alone; utter solitude.
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