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Monday, Mar. 31, 2003 at 9:41 p.m.
*I love you so much and I hate you. Your eyes dark with such apathy. The words you speak I want to hear no longer. You say one thing, you say another. Has me so confused; Im lost. With no where to go. Not a place to be. I belong to- I have no one. Inside your ugly. Your presence is felt. Like an angel you look: A dark angel. I melt. Im tired of this feeling. Im tired of you. We could have been great friends. We could have been. BUt its over, its done, its ruined. You can be such a jerk. Who leaves me in a circle of solitude.
*I havent laughed in such a long time. WHen I do its fake. Do you even know the difference? Can you tell when I pretend? My heart is breaking, I cant help faking. Lunacy, its whats becoming of me. Open your eyes and try to see. Will you please care? Why wont you please care?
*Dont feel much like writing. Am losing sight. Am losing hope. PLease dont bother calling. Please dont bother writing. Just dont bother acting. I know you dont care. My hearts been ripped open so many times, And sutured shut so many times. PLease dont bother talking. Save your words for someone who has yet to be this far gone. Save them so someone worth saving. A person you care for.
*Its 10 O'clock on a friday night. Im sittin here alone. Sittin here tryin to fight. The tears of not knowing whats to come. Im nervous. I can taste the ink in my pen. Where have you been? Im starting to sweat. I got a sudden adreniline rush. Im ready to go, ready to go , ready to lie back down. Im missing the sound of your voice. The sarcasm in your laugh. Every song now has a memory. Of course im scared, not knowing; Will I be alone forever?
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