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Saturday, Apr. 15, 2006 at 10:47 p.m.
Last night I sat with vodka bottle in one hand.... pen in the next. I had a lot to think about. I weight the pros and cons. I took notes of the million things flashing in my head as quickly as I could. I had a big decision to make.
I knew what I had to do. And as much as I didnt want to. As much as it hurt me it was the right thing. Still it hurts me and I keep thinking that maybe my decision was a mistake. What if I regret it?
I never wanted it to end this way. Still the tears weld in my eyes for you. My heart full of sharp jabbing pains. He may never know just what he meant to me. He may never know.
What else could I do...... but end things with you?
I deserve so much more. I need so much more. Whats meant to be will find a way. You seem to have lost the directions. I dont need you. I dont want you. Not the person you have become. Your not the one I fell in love with. He has met his demise. I cant be in love with someone who doesnt even exist.
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