waiting....
Friday, Jan. 06, 2006 at 2:45 a.m.
My thoughts have been scattered and I once again can not find the words to express my current state of mind. I feel like I have fallen from the face of the earth even though I know I am still just right here.
My Joseph is leaving in a little more than a month for bootcamp. I am saddened beyond words. And scared because I dont know what is going to become of us. If I cared enough about him I would wait but im not so sure I can wait. And even still that boy is young. I dont believe at the age of 18 you could possible have found the person who want to be with for the rest of your life. We have yet to talk about it; im afraid to.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Chris, my exboyfriend called me tonight. Acting all innocent. Like he never ripped my heart out. I dont know what his intentions were but all I can say is he ruined his chance with me. even if I didnt have joseph I still wouldnt get back together with him or even see him for that matter. Fuck him.
He said he would call me tomorrow. And I cant wait. I hope he says he wants to see me or something along those lines. I may not be a mean person at all but this time I will be. I dont care how I make him feel. Im going to take years of pain and anguish out on him. Im going to let loose all the heart every guy I have known has caused me. Is that wrong?
Frankly I couldnt care less.
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