Use me and Abuse me.
Sunday, Aug. 21, 2005 at 1:19 a.m.
A few nights ago I stayed the night at J.T.'s house (the marine). I dont know why I even bother to be friends with him seeing as how he's leaving for Japan in less than a week. It's like I like him but I dont. HE kind of gets on my nerves- As people tend to do. Perhaps its my own insecurities. My own- whatever.
We had sex twice. Except it wasnt really worth it. Because once again I let the Whore in me out. I dont have sex because Im in love with someone, I have sex with them because I like sex. Because I am dirty.
He'll probably never talk to me again though. I kinda wish he would call me. He's clingy - I kinda like it - I kinda hate it. It makes me feel kinda powerful. The fact he's a marine sort of turns me on too. Couldnt tell you why. Maybe its a Sub/Dom thing. A marine=Powerful, fearless, Dominent. While I am just the opposite- Powerless, Fearfull, Submissive.
Im just a slut. A whore.
Anyway.
That'll never change.
Sex is..It makes me feel..+speechless+
-Beautiful.
-wanted..no, needed.
-Confident. For the moment.
It just makes me feel good about myself. Which is extremely rare.
The adreneline rush.
Of course then left feeling dirty, used, disappointed. Nothing more than a cheap whore. Except for free
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