summer loving.... shut the fuck up
Saturday, Aug. 06, 2005 at 1:27 a.m.


At the moment there are 3 guys that I know of that like me. And each time I see or talk to any of them all they do is flirt and come on to me. I can not handle that.
Dont get me wrong, its great it really is. But for some reason I just cant seem to handle it. You would think that when someone like myself learns someone likes her.. thinks she pretty it would make her feel absolutely wonderful. But it doesnt. Instead I feel akward and pressured. I just cant come out and tell them I dont feel the same way. Im too nice. Or maybe Im just a pussy.
How just my luck that of all the guys who do like me I dont like them. And if I do like them there is something inside me that fears a relationship. That fears anything more than just being friends. Distant friends. It kind of feels like too much a burdon. Another respondsibilty that i can not handle.
the only guy I do like that likes me too is brian. Of course he may not be the most attractive guy that Ive ever been with but he cares about me. He treats me like a person and not just a sex toy. I guess ive come to realize that you can not have looks and a good personalitily at the same time.
Of course then maybe Im just defective. Something inside me is broken and the warrenty ran out a long time ago.


I will never give up
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