Why cant I just have him back?
Wednesday, Apr. 21, 2004 at 1:28 a.m.
I seen Ryan several times today. The first he was pulling out of Papa John's. I was staring at him, he at me. To top it off the song that reminds me of him, Linkin Park's "Numb" came on the radio. Sadness washed over me. I couldnt take my eyes off of him. At that moment I wanted to be with him. Be in his arms and apologize profusily. I wanted to cry to him. I wanted him.
I seen him a few other times on the road after that. It drives me crazy how I have such mixed emotions about the whole situation. One minute I regret what I did to lose him. Then the next Im glad I did it because of how it changed me. With how things that used to make me umcomfortable, I am now comfortable with. And Im content with who Ive come to be.
Earlier in the day I thought I didnt really want HIM I just wanted the attention and affection he gave me. But after seeing him, Im not too sure.
When will I get over him???
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