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Monday, Mar. 29, 2004 at 11:08 p.m.
It still kind of hurts, knowing I really fucked everything up. I remember when I use to say If I ever had a boyfriend I would love him and never do anything to hurt him. I would never cheat on him. That just made me realize Ive become everything I said I would never be; everything I hated.
I really dont want to admit this but I can't stand living in denial.....I really thought making that phone call would fix everything. Kind of like a big band-aid. And I could go run back into his arms.
Next time I really need to stop and think. Ask myself if it will be worth it. If there is a next time.
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