Blurred
Thursday, Sept. 18, 2003 at 9:24 p.m.
My friend is trying to get me to do crack. And that scares me. Maybe what scares me more is that im actually contemplating doing it. Anything for a false sense of happiness. Im just so afraid to. The fact that I think addiction is inevitable for some people doesnt help either. I, my friend, am one of those people.
Why the fuck am I even thinking about doing it? I have so much to lose.
I know I said that I couldnt allow him to get close but last night I realized I already have. As I looked up into his eyes I knew I couldnt tell him that I dont want or need him. I am lying to myself.
God help me. I am starting to love him.
How can someone else love you, how can you love someone else, when you dont love yourself?
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