There is no true answer to my questions
Monday, Jun. 02, 2003 at 12:08 a.m.
Everyday I contimplate telling someone of my self destructive tendencys. Or in other words that I cut. I feel like I want someone to ask what happened to my arm and I just pray that I wont lie. But I dont want to hurt anyone else. I dont want my problems to be their problems. Im afraid they wont understand and im afraid of what they will think. I dont want anyone to think they failed.
I dont understand why everything brings such shame. Im ashamed of everything that I do and am. People do not make it any better. People dont understand what they do to me when they are just "Messing around."
Maybe some day I should just roll up my sleeves and force them to look. "This is why im so quite, this is why I never bother, this is why I never try, this is why I never laugh, and this is why I never try to get even, they are just useless words that you throw at me. This is why I cant act like myself around you. This is what no one knows among so many other secrets I have."
I wish I knew what the outcome would be I I told my family before I actually told them. Why do I have to be the fucked up one?
New Memories Profile Notes Fans E-mail Guestbook Glitter Tramp Design Host