Bloody dreams
Monday, May. 19, 2003 at 11:11 p.m.

I couldnt sleep last night. So I just laid in bed in the dark listening to Alkaline Trio. Starring at the ceiling. Then out of nowhere I started crying. Like a very uncontrolable screaming cry. I left so uneasy. I was crying for no reason and I couldnt stop.

And I was doing so good. I havent cut in over a week. But it was the only thing I could do to calm myself down. It stopped the crying. So I will know have 3 more scars, 3 more memorys to hide. I remember my arm being so numb. I couldnt feel the pain at all. I thought..."This must be what my heart feels."

I bled all over my shirt and my sheets. Only to finally fall asleep at around 4 0'clock in the morning.

I will never give up
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