-Waste of feelings-
Saturday, Jan. 11, 2003 at 11:49 p.m.
Today was a waste of a day. I went to the flee market but its never fun in the winter. Its inside and they dont have any junk. Its all new stuff. I just want to go to the flee market and buy ppls old useless junk. Then i came home and studied for exams. Fun fun fun.
I cant wait till thurday... In F.S. we are doing Ice rescue. I cant wait to get in the red gumpy suits and jump in the frozen water, waiting for someone to rescue me. I cant wait to roll around on the ice and rescue someone else.
Currently i am trying to gather all my poems storys and whatever else i have written and put them in my notebook like i use to do. LIke i use to.
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Tonight is one of those nights that i would give anything to be with you. Tonight is like the night when i first saw you-knew you-wanted you-needed you. I only have myself to blame, everyone says it could be. But ive held myself back. Too afraid of the pain getting in that ive forced my self blind to the happiness that we could have. And b/c of this i will lie and stare up at the stars alone agian. Wondering , thinking, wishing, hoping, praying. .Crying.
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