I mean nothing
Tuesday, May. 03, 2005 at 2:53 p.m.
I could tell you that it is okay but I would be lying. I could allow the words to slide from my mouth..."it's okay Im not mad at you." But what would be the point? To say that it's alright for you to stand me up, to lie to me, to put gambling before me is stupid. I wont let it happen. Not this time. Not again.
To say that would be like telling you it is fine. If I allowed you to think it didnt hurt me, it didnt piss me off you would just keep doing it.
Because it isnt fine and it's not okay. It is my fault that I have allowed it to even go on. But I wont anymore. I will not allow you to lie to me and most of all I will not allow you to hurt me. I love you with all my heart but I have to love myself more.
I find it sickening, ludicrous even that you tell me you love me, that I am the world to you, that you are sorry. If you really loved me you wouldnt keep doing this. You wouldnt do things you know are going to hurt me. You wouldnt lie to me. We both know you are not sorry. Being sorry means you realize you've done something wrong and will not do it again. It means learning from your mistakes. But you have done it before and I can almost promise you'll do it again.
So Danny tell me...How much do you really love me? How much do I really mean to you? How fucking sorry are you?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Your breaking my heart one card at a fucking time.
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