all jumbled.....I cant write anymore.
Thursday, Feb. 24, 2005 at 1:36 p.m.

I met Danny on Valentine's day at IHOP. I wasnt going to go but Justine insisted that I did.
He was cute, he was funny and he was drunk but I didnt really think too much of it. After all why would any guy like me? Please.
But I suppose he does like me. He tells me how adorable I am and all the shit that Ive always wanted to hear someone say to me. He treats me like I always say I should be treated. And I like that..... I like that.
The only bad thing about the whole situation is Brian. We were never going out so I cant break up with him. Hell, Ive never been the one to break up with anyone anyways. And I dont think I could find just the right words to say, "Whatever we were, we are over." But seriously..what was I to me him? I knew nothing about him, he treated me like I was inferior and our believes just completely clashed. Hell, I knew more about Danny in 3 days than I do about Brian and Ive known him about 5 months.
Because I do still like him and I do care about him and his feelings. I never wanted to hurt anyone. That is, if infact he would be hurt on account of me.
Going to the hospital is going to be wierd. Seeing him...it's all going to be weird and uncomfortable.
I know this is something that i must deal with now. Speaking from personal experience. I dont want the pain of not being with him anymore to hit me 20 times as hard later down the road.
Im not going to look at this in a bad way...I refuse to deny myself of the pleasures of having someone who cares.

I will never give up
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