it hits me hard
Sunday, Oct. 24, 2004 at 12:02 a.m.
Ive said before that if I ever lost my best friend no way could I live; Id kill myself.
Well, I decided tonight, no way in hell would I do that. No way would I ever give my life for someone who wouldnt do the same for me. As much as I love her the belief of her loving me is quickly fading. Spoken words mean nothing. Lies come too easy. Hell, its only human nature.
I suppose im just now taking the hint. It was like this with Derek, them Jeff and now John. But this time it's gotten worse. I guess she has a boyfriend and I have school. Sure it might pay off in the end but just this once I'd like to live in the moment.
But I was never the type of person that lived in the moment. Ive always worried about the future.
That doesnt make me a bad person just a bored one.
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