dried dried tears.
Saturday, May. 15, 2004 at 11:29 p.m.
Hey, dont break my heart again. All bandaged up. Dont break my heart again. All bloody. My precious little heart. All scared.
Baby I love you but it's hard for me to look you in the eyes and be able to tell what you see.
-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
I have the sudden urge to cut myself. I'd like to sit here and tell myself that I am going to fight it but I would be lying. I know I will do it.
This life that somehow picked itself up from nowhere is starting to fall back down. Maybe even farther than it was to being with. Atleast in the past I had Justine. But now I dont even have her anymore. We use to talk on the phone for hours and hours. Our latest phone call was not even a minute long. Just her asking if I knew someone named Brandon. I said no and she said goodbye.
It hurts me so much and I dont think she even cares. But why should she? She had everything she ever wanted. As long as she is happy what does it matter? It doesnt matter that Im sitting here crying, it doesnt matter that my heart is gone.
I never mattered anyway.
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