IM READY..............!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Friday, Mar. 19, 2004 at 12:21 a.m.
I stare at this white screen with so much to say but no idea how to say it. I can feel all these emotions running around in my body and I have no way of releasing them. So I just sit here and let them eat away at me.
Sometimes I wonder what God thinks of me. I wonder what everyone thinks of me. Not that it really matters in the end anyway.
So much has changed in my life and I think Ive become worse of a person than I use to be. I became happy with life and not with myself. I think I have to sacrifice one or the other. Id gladly give up on myself to even taste happiness. And once you taste it, its near impossible to go back. Back to the constant pain that never goes away and the self hatred.
What I need now is someone I can share my new-found happiness with. I just want someone to actually love me. As much as I hate to say it, but I think im finally ready to love someone too. To give myself to them; my WHOLE self. Just put myself out there and trust. Probably against my better judgement. But the way I see it is how can I possibly feel pain any worse than Ive experienced constantly for 4 or 5 years?
New Memories Profile Notes Fans E-mail Guestbook Glitter Tramp Design Host