Stripped of all protection-I am this it is me.
Wednesday, Nov. 12, 2003 at 10:49 p.m.
Its teachers like you with your obvious, "I dont ever remember being a kid" and lying about the things you did that makes me want to quit trying. And your, "If you dont succeed now you will never be anything when you grow up" attitude. Its pure bullshit, your pure bullshit. A fucking joke.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Everthing seems to be changing like the seasons - constantly changing.
And im falling
Just like a leaf im drifting down onto the cold-hard ground. There is no one to pick me up and I deteriorate to nothing. I was nothing and I became nothing. Eternally nothing.
Like a rock throwing into the water I sink. Straight to the bottom where they say I belong. To sit until something comes by and pushes me away.
But I gave up along time ago. I just go with the flow. I do what I have to to avoid the questions and their "concern". You dont fucking really care.
I find you hard to believe. With your lifeless eyes telling me what I want to hear. With your whispers in my ear. //your put downs// that make you feel so much better about yourself. Even when your not around I hear them. They never go away.
My eyes tear up and that makes you happy. You know I would never cry in front of you; the ultimate sin. I will never allow you to strip me of all protection. Some how I know those whisper will go on forever but someday I'll learn to kill them. If they dont kill me first.
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