My demise
Tuesday, Sept. 02, 2003 at 12:31 a.m.
Ive created a massive boo boo. Justina (best friend), I think, is pissed at me. Honestly, im not sure what she is. But since she refuses to talk to me Im assuming she hates me right now.
Im just going to make a long story short. I lost my virginity last night. Justina has always told me never to have sex and esp. not w/ certain said guy. And I did.
She said I would regret it. And you know what, I do. I regret it b/c of how I had her feel. B/c I cant lose her. She is my life, the only person who honestly knows me. The only one I know I can talk to about anything and not be judged or hated. She keeps me alive.
Shit hasnt been going good with her lately anyway. We are constantly fighting and arguing about stupid shit. I think we are getting on each others nerves. And now I had to go and do this. How can I honestly be so stupid? Im so fucking selfish. I dont deserve to live. I am such a horrible ungrateful person......
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