tryin to help you understand
Friday, Aug. 08, 2003 at 11:25 p.m.
Dear Telly,
You left me with no other way to contact you. How did you expect me to answer your questions? I only hope you are reading this.
Cutting is my something beautiful in life. Its what makes me realize that I am alive. Its not what keeps me going, but what keeps me from insanity.
So no matter how numb I am, no matter how numb I make myself emotionally. I know that (with cutting) my body still feels pain. It is still alive even if Im not inside. I know part of me is alive. Im not completely dead yet. I can look at my scars and see that.
Cutting is a coping skill. It is said that some people who cut were never taught how to deal with their mental/emotional pain. This is the only way that I know to release it. Its kind of like blood letting. Im just trying to bleed away the bad; the pain. The weird part is that it actually works for a little while.
*Jennifer
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